Naes Collins-townStaple


The Machine of Love in action!

Naes Collins-townStaple: warrior, love machine, dictator of Djibouti, and the man!

Naes Collins-townStaple was an incompetant dictator of Djibouti from May 2, 1613 to January, 1622 who meant well. Djibouti was constantly encroached by neighbor states Rome and The Cheesecake factory during his rule, marring what would otherwise be considered an uneventful tenure.

In addition to introducing the residents of Djibouti to the miracles of bikini waxes and touch-tone dialing (the latter being especially impressive considering that Djibouti had telephone service since 1322, when the first international long-distance call was placed from Djibouti to the Starbucks in Seattle, Oregon). Dictator Collins-townStaple was also reponsible for several advances in the sciences, namely the ability to clone Rush Limbaugh into a hamburger patty, and the development of antihistamine pills applied directly to flowers.

The power of the Emperor of Djibouti has always resided in the sceptor of tranquility, which is normally stored in the hall of onions. Unfortunately, due to budget cuts in the 1638 Djibouti budget, the guards for the hall of onions were permanently replaced by holograms shouting "VISIT MY MYSPACE PAGE!"

These holograms kept the sceptor of tranquility safe from encroachment until 1943, when Mayor McCheese and the Hamburglar decided to invade Djibouti by paraglider. This strategy was quite successful, and both were able to steal the sceptor of tranquility from the hall of onions and seize power from Emperor Collins-townStaple.


Dictator Collins townStaple holds the Sceptor of Tranquility

To this day, the whereabouts of dictator Collins townStaple are unknown. It has been suggested that Mayor McCheese exiled Collins-townStaple to Spider Skull Island, but this has not been confirmed by any reliable sources.

Other folks say that Collins-townStaple is relaxing on a nude beach in Evanston, Illinois. Unfortunately, nobody has been able to confirm that Evanston, Illinois exists either.


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